Letting Go: The one you can't let go

"Isn't letting go the right thing to do? Yet, it's the hardest one to go through."

This is my short story of how I just can't let someone go, whom I am madly in love lust with. Love requires more time, which we didn't have nor spent of what we did have.

Here's my story of how I met him and even though, we are not together nor we ever were, still he is the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last thing when I sleep.

His name is, let's say Ashton (tired of using Damon's name for way too many people). Anyway, I met Ashton in the most unexpected place possible, my internship(I won't tell which internship though, I have had a couple of em).

Now, imagine, this really hot guy, who looks a bit like your ex(not an ex, but a person you hung out with a lot and then he showed his true disgusting self), with whom you had a really traumatic past and a very depressing end, walk up to you and confidently introduce himself and shake hands with you and you feel something inside you flicker after 3 years of 'no men ever' oath. You lose it! Trust me. The feeling of desire and the feeling of fear make you do craziest of things.

This one time, he was there in the kitchen and there was no one around and I had to go into the kitchen, but instead I saw him and ran to the bathroom nearby and slammed the door shut. Maybe due to fear of being alone with him or maybe due to fantasies of being alone with him. Long story short, did a lot of crazy sh*t.

In the end, we both didn't spend time together at all and ended up avoiding each other. He definitely must have realized I am crazy and I couldn't explain him the whys of it. Yet I don't know why I like him and I hate him and I am terrified of him. Funny thing, I don't even have a clue. I tried getting over him because honestly, there wasn't anything to begin with.

That's when I realised that, that's exactly why I couldn't move on, because my stupid brain just can't stop contemplating the scenarios of what could have happened if things had been different.

Most people think that it's easy to let go if there was nothing there in between two people but here is the fact, that sh*t is the hardest! To letting go of someone you didn't even have.

Hence, letting go is never easy and I can't advice anyone on it, given I have become this pathetic person who can't move on from this other person, who probably has a wife, girlfriend or whatever, God knows.

Although, what I can do is, try to think about it so much that after a while I am so bored of the same thing that I move on. The desired toy analogy where a child wants a toy they can't have, once they have it, they get easily bored. So, yeah! Let's see how that works out.

Till then, Stay sassy, classy and bit bad assy.