Feeling of disdain

 

"Sometimes you feel it towards others, sometimes towards yourself. But it is always there."

Disdain makes you look yourself in the mirror and say, "Omo! You look ugly!"

 

Have you ever felt that you are being a target of disdain? That someone you thought liked you or respected you, treated you in a surprisingly ignorant or disrespectful manner?

When you thought that you mattered the most to that person, that person went on and reacted as if you don't exist? You waited for at least a single phone call from them and all you got was silence?

Yup! That pretty much summed up my weekend. And here I thought that the guy actually liked me. But if I am that discard-able then maybe I need to kick such a person out of my life. Apparently, I know that the person will contact me, I made sure of that, but it would have been better if they had actually wanted to reach out to me and not because they wanted incentives.

I mean, is it that difficult? A simple call won't hurt anyone. Or are they incoherent? Or are they a tease? Because I am not that delusional to think every person I meet would start liking me, but this person did things that made me believe so. Yet, his actions now, say something else. What am I to understand? 

I anyways am incapable of loving myself these days and when people act like a total prick, it just makes me hate everyone more, including myself.

People shouldn't do that to other people, it's wrong on many levels. Even though I am a person who expects the worst for themselves, it still feels bad.

But I am an awesome person (need to tell it to myself in order to live to see another day. Damn! I am becoming an epitome of negativity...Meditation from tomorrow for me!!!), so I am gonna let it go, let that person go who made me feel disdain for myself.

And that is how you do it, you can also go throw rocks at their place, but it's a 6 hour ride, also they are studying far away, so no and also it's not legal (but mostly, because I am lazy). Or you can call them (EGO!!!@#&$^%).

Whatever you do, just never feel disdain, it's unhealthy both ways!