I don't know why


Everyday I keep waking up with the determination that I'll move on. I won't care for you. I won't wait for you. I'll start living without you. You won't matter a thing in the world to me. And everyday that oath is broken. Broken because of the loneliness that surrounds me. Broken because of the jealousy that I feel at other's happiness. I feel like giving up on you but that one little hope, "what if" brings back the patience followed by the excruciating misery and agony of endless torture of loneliness. So everyday, along with my clothes, I put on a smile and go out in the world.
I feel struck by the irony of being unhappy of the want of happiness with you. Who are you? What makes you worth my wait? Why do I desire you? What is so special about you that will defy all my previous experiments with relationships? Why just a walk with you will make my day a win through? Why you?  Just why damn it!
I don't know this and yet I am in pain. I feel nothing but emptiness. I desire nothing but you.
I just want that either you come in my life and end the wait or I forget what love is. I can't bear this curse of solitude. I am done. I don't want to wait. And yet the kind of fool I am, I am still waiting. 
Waiting for my life, my future, my happiness with you....So I hope you are worth it!!

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